Chore Chart

About six weeks ago, I came up with a new system for doing chores around here. You see, the old way of giving each child a mere one or two chores a week (plus keeping a clean room), and then spending all day Saturday begging them to do them, all the while enduring whining and complaining in several pitches . . . wasn't working. I had noticed that my children weren't acting like part of family. They hated pitching in to get a job done faster, wouldn't dare pick up an item that didn't belong to them and in general, behaved like a bunch of poor Cinderellas. (I do have to say that the issue was predominately my two teenage daughters - but is that surprising?) I felt it was important for my kids to serve each other and feel like they were contributing to our family.

The solution:

For Family Home Evening, we had a brief discussion about service and being part of community/family. We talked about how if one person chooses not to do their part, it effects those around them - like the idea that "if one wheel falls off, then the car can't go". Next, we all sat in a circle and I pulled out 30 or so small cards cut from cardstock. I asked the kids to name all of the things that have to be done to make the household run smoothly. The list was rattled off very quickly: doing laundry, making dinner, going to work, sweeping the floors, cleaning toilets, mowing the lawn, doing the dishes, pulling weeds, making the beds, taking out the trash, etc. As each job was mentioned, I wrote it down on a card and handed it to the person in the circle that is typically responsible for that particular job. The list went on and on and when we were finished, we each held up the cards we had been given. I'm sure it's no big shocker that Henry and Elliot were each holding two cards, and that I, the mom, had about 23 cards in my hand. Now, everyone could visually and plainly see the amount of responsibility each person in the family actually has. I'm proud to say that I got the reaction I was looking for - my kids said, "Wow, mom and dad sure do a lot of things for us!" And a couple of them realized finally that the meager amount of work they were asked to do on a weekly basis was absolutely nothing to complain about. I had them where I wanted them. Then, I brought out the chart I had made and the cards were redistributed. * I should note that although I don't have 23 cards a week anymore, I still have far more than the children do. And that's as it should be - after all, a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do! Kids can't pay the bills. Or get the groceries. Nor should they have to.



Yes, I misspelled "when".



This has worked oh so brilliantly!

* The kids are actually excited to dump out the cards and pick new chores each week.
* Since we all have different jobs from week to week, doing chores doesn't get boring.
* Everyone has a say in choosing their own chores, so no one feels like they're being forced to do anything.
* Doing a job that someone else is usually supposed to do, like making their bed for them, feels a lot like service.
* Since the kids can see in their baggie what they have to do, I don't have to remind or nag (hallelujah).
* I'm surprised the kids haven't asked for a raise in their allowance, due to the addition of chores. Good thing, since we weren't planning on giving them one.
* I didn't think it would happen, but I have witnessed certain people taking chores out of other bags, just to be nice :)
* I have discovered that getting an extra chore for complaining only happens ONCE. That lesson is one quickly learned.
* I've learned that a mom is much happier and more laid back when some of the house work has been lifted from her shoulders.
* I'm super impressed with Nathan for being so willing to participate in this new chore system - the majority of the "cards" were never his responsibility before. I'm grateful that he's vacuuming and dusting with the rest of us, even after working hard all week.
* Best of all, everyone in the family, including the parents, feels motivated to get all their cards in the "Done" bag so that they don't let the rest of the family down by missing out on the family reward. It's happened. So far, our family rewards have included things like going out for ice cream, buying a new movie on DVD and going to Airborne Trampoline Arena (although we've told the kids that the family reward can be as simple as a pack of gum for everyone, which they're totally cool with as well).


Well, mission accomplished . . . so far. Here's how I know:

1. The last time we chose new chores, Gillian observed, "I actually have about three times the chores I used to have, but it feels like less." Exactly. It doesn't feel like work anymore.

2. This last weekend, Samantha commented, "I've felt a difference in our family lately. Everyone's happier I think." I've felt it too. I think we're all feeling that unity that comes from working together and serving the members of our family.




We'll see how long it lasts . . .